Letter from kayla in connecticut to ash in pennsylvania
It’s 10:45, and I’m slurping my roommate’s cup noodles in my room
Not because I’m hungry but because I simply want something to eat
Have you ever felt that way? You eat dinner this late too sometimes,
Don’t you? It’s an odd feeling, stuffing food in your mouth and then feeling it
Rumble around in your stomach as you try to sleep—but I have no regrets.
I just got back from the final rehearsal for my school musical
We open tomorrow, and I’m so terrified to act in front of people.
I’m supposed to be funny. How do you make people laugh?
I wish there was a class where I could learn to be funny
I wish I could take stand-up comedy like at your school.
Things are a little bit stressful here. I wish I was a little kid again
I remember you mentioned “Things not seen” and it sounded familiar
So I looked it up—I read it a while ago. I recall I read the entire series and
It reminds me of when I had time to read and I wasn’t too lazy
And downtrodden from hours of fake-smiling on stage to pick up a book
But you must be even more frazzled; ACTs are this weekend, right?
And college applications and another thing and another thing
I hope you have time to do fun things too
Watching too much TV and making music and going to movies with friends
My new “hanging out” with friends is sitting back-to-back in the library.
Talking to friends requires energy and facial emotions, not to mention
Even talking to strangers—I just seem to shrivel up inside
(I looked up “agoraphobia” on Wikipedia today)
Hope people at your school aren’t trying to accept you too enthusiastically!
And you, you insisted unrelentingly that you’re awkward with new people
And give off a bad first impression, you liar. Stay awesome,
Kayla
by Kayla Kim
Not because I’m hungry but because I simply want something to eat
Have you ever felt that way? You eat dinner this late too sometimes,
Don’t you? It’s an odd feeling, stuffing food in your mouth and then feeling it
Rumble around in your stomach as you try to sleep—but I have no regrets.
I just got back from the final rehearsal for my school musical
We open tomorrow, and I’m so terrified to act in front of people.
I’m supposed to be funny. How do you make people laugh?
I wish there was a class where I could learn to be funny
I wish I could take stand-up comedy like at your school.
Things are a little bit stressful here. I wish I was a little kid again
I remember you mentioned “Things not seen” and it sounded familiar
So I looked it up—I read it a while ago. I recall I read the entire series and
It reminds me of when I had time to read and I wasn’t too lazy
And downtrodden from hours of fake-smiling on stage to pick up a book
But you must be even more frazzled; ACTs are this weekend, right?
And college applications and another thing and another thing
I hope you have time to do fun things too
Watching too much TV and making music and going to movies with friends
My new “hanging out” with friends is sitting back-to-back in the library.
Talking to friends requires energy and facial emotions, not to mention
Even talking to strangers—I just seem to shrivel up inside
(I looked up “agoraphobia” on Wikipedia today)
Hope people at your school aren’t trying to accept you too enthusiastically!
And you, you insisted unrelentingly that you’re awkward with new people
And give off a bad first impression, you liar. Stay awesome,
Kayla
by Kayla Kim